Getting too “Customer Friendly”?

How close should we get with our clients?

A recent conversation with the Sales Manager of a telecom company brought me alive to the need for moderation in relationship building. He and I shared the same surname, but it is a common one here in Kerala; & both were born in the same city in North India – that’s unusual. I became aware of this tit-bit of information while researching the person, preparatory to the call. And as an ice-breaker I mentioned these commonalities. The intent was not to gain any advantage, but such things usually help to get the conversation started. He did not seem inclined to broach the subject and I quickly changed tack.

Maybe he wished to keep the discussion very formal in the early stages and that was illustrated quite sharply when he rebuffed my inside man’s attempt to dwell on some personal details a bit later. Since I was an outsider, and a visitor, he did not try to snub me, but the junior officer who set up the meeting for me was quickly put in his place: “Let us stick to the subject, please!”

Usually people enjoy meeting those who are:

–          from their alma mater

–          former colleagues

–          from the town they lived in

–          from their hometown / family

But that should not be taken for granted; people change with time and may not be inclined to discuss such things with you. A junior official might enjoy indulging in small talk, but a senior official or a CXO level individual may not. It’s possible that they all are interested, but many don’t wish to drop their guard for fear of losing the strategic advantage – or would do so only with peers.

It is also possible that the officials who act cold and formal during the negotiations turn warm and friendly after the business is done; the mask often gets dropped after a few meetings. They are probably gauging you for substance and on the deliverables; when they are sure that you are a professional and know where to draw the line they turn friendly.

It is best to permit the customer to take the lead in such matters – if they wish to be chatty and informal you can play along; otherwise you would do well to remain pleasant and keep the discussion formal.

The caveat is not to lose sight of your priorities and keep your business priorities uppermost. Customers can play all sorts of games and lull you into an indiscretion – the friendliness may be a ploy to disarm you and reap a benefit from the deal. When you are in an extremely happy mood remember not to divulge any critical information, nor should you promise anything beyond your empowerment.

While meeting a person of the opposite sex it’s best to maintain professionalism in all dealings – nothing in your words and actions should be even misconstrued as unacceptable or uncivil. When there are meetings away from the office, such as a luncheon appointment, keep the conversation focused on work and casual talk should be impersonal and general. You shouldn’t pry or be indiscreet. It can jeopardize relationships between the organisations and impact business negatively.

It’s best not to get personal with someone you are doing business with – such involvements can distract both sides and lead to loss of focus, due to mixed priorities.

If the relationship gets personal the best option would be to hand-over the business dealings to someone else in your organisation or deal with some other official on the client-side.

Customer Intimacy isn’t what you think it is. Don’t get too cosy with your customer … it would turn into a hotbed for disaster!

Business is best done with friends, but the level of friendship needs to be defined – it should not clash with your organisation’s interests.

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