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3 Conversations!

How we react and respond to situations and what we say during conversations threw light on our attitude and state of mind. After all, our words and actions get life from our thinking, beliefs and values.

Three interesting interactions I had yesterday:

–          The first was with a good friend: She’d been feeling low and desperate needed to find a purpose or a definite direction in her life. During our conversations she frequently said: “How I wish I could live life my way.” I pushed her to say what it is she really wanted. In the past she had mentioned some dreams and pet projects. She spoke about starting a venture in one of two fields that caught her fancy. Today I nudged her to narrow it down to one and maybe push ahead with some action. But my friend responded saying it’s too late to think about it now because her present circumstances would not permit such pursuits. She is well-settled and enjoying the good life – even then her thoughts veered towards the need to make a mark for herself. She was unhappy with how things were going, but did she have the will or commitment to make it happen? I didn’t say anything and ended the conversation. Maybe she wasn’t motivated enough at present.

–          The Administrative Head of an Institution where I conduct classes regularly had asked me to help their students in Public Speaking and Presentation Skills. Since me classes were limited to a few weeks based on the prescribed curriculum I thought the students can improve much further by maintaining their learning efforts even after my program. So I spoke at length to the Head about the Toastmasters Club and their proven methodology in helping people improve speaking and leadership skills. He hemmed and hawed, politely smiled as I spoke and at the end of the conversation he said. “We’ll see what can be done about it.” I had been pushing hard to get him to start a Club at the Institution in order to help the students and it meant no addition cost to them because the Club paid for its expenses from the fees paid by the members. But his reaction told me right then that nothing would happen.

–          At the same Institution I had shared information with the students too about the Toastmasters system and today I showed them the books we used at the Club to prepare the speeches. The books explained how one can develop Leadership Skills and Communication Skills by participating in various projects and by tracking the progress made. A few of the youngsters were genuinely interested and after the class they lingered to find out more – many asked how they could enroll in the Club. Obviously they saw merit in the program and were in need of those inputs. One bright chap used Google on his Android phone and located a Club close to their college. I would expect at least 2 or 3 of them to join a club in Cochin.

We act when we see merit or value in taking action. We see positive results accruing from the pursuit of that line of thinking and will ourselves on – the task is approached with great enthusiasm.

The rest will just talk about it to while away time. Decide which side you want to be on.

  1. June 14, 2012 at 10:51 am

    Very interesting post…:)

    • JayadevM
      June 14, 2012 at 5:08 pm

      Thank you, Valli!

  2. Jamy
    June 14, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    Good one Jay! In my line of work, having conversations is 95% of my job description and making it useful will result in more business for the resort, better pick-up for the restaurants, more commissions for the Concierge department, overall goodwill for the resort and the mother chain, better reviews of the department I represent and what is in it for me, you may ask?? Well, no better feeling when you can have a constructive discussion with a guest and give them the assurance that their issues would be resolved to their satisfaction or pacifying someone who is staying with you and is deeply troubled by tragic news from back home and actually being able to make them feel better. These are things that you cannot teach or train people- you either have it or you don’t!

    Just a few days back, had to deal with a guest who received shocking news from back in New Orleans that her Mum’s heart had stopped beating; news reached me early evening and I proceeded to spend a good 3 hours assisting them in organising their trip back as well as pacifying the daughter while her little girl had to be kept occupied as well. The last thing the guest told me before they left was that they would not feel more secure than with us if they were ever to be away from home in such a situation again since we as a team made her feel as if she was amongst genuinely, caring family. It was the way the different members of the team spent time with the guest just talking to her and listening to her relate great, loving stories about her mother. Their 9-yr old daughter actually waited for me to step out of the office to give me a big hug and say “We’ll be back as soon as possible”. Since then, I have managed to persuade my GM to give the guest enough credit for their unused portion of the vacation and they should be getting back to me soon regarding their next holiday within the next year. Words do make a difference, no doubt!!

    • JayadevM
      June 16, 2012 at 5:28 am

      Hi Jamy

      I have nothing to say other than …. Brilliant example of what Customer Care is truly about. Can’t get much better than that!!

      I am sure that guest is going nowhere else once she is a state of mind to holiday again. And she will tell a lot of her friends to visit your property.

      Thank you for sharing this anecdote.

  3. June 15, 2012 at 2:36 am

    As we grow up, we get more cynical and set in our ways. That childish enthusiasm and awe starts disappearing and that’s when that fatalistic attitude starts setting in. The key I guess is keeping your mind open to new ideas, experiences and people

    • JayadevM
      June 16, 2012 at 5:31 am


      Bindu, thank you for reading so many of my articles and for leaving your thoughts. Look forward to more visits.

  4. Anand
    June 15, 2012 at 4:17 am

    Great Post Jay. Keep Going.

    • JayadevM
      June 15, 2012 at 6:02 am

      Thank you, Anand!

  5. Kailash
    June 15, 2012 at 8:55 am

    Nice Post J, Communication (with words without words) is the key to success any many situations.

    • JayadevM
      June 16, 2012 at 5:09 am

      Thank you, Kailash.

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